Not So Little White Lies | Dishonesty In Mediation

For those of us who have been involved in a mediation, I’m sure we have all experienced someone make an offer they allege is their absolute bottom line, but then later in the mediation they make an offer below their purported “bottom line.” Despite the emphasis on transparency and authenticity, individuals sometimes resort to dishonesty during mediation. Lying during a mediation process can have far-reaching consequences, undermining the integrity of the proceedings and derailing the potential for a mutually beneficial resolution. Whether driven by a desire to gain an advantage, protect one's reputation, or evade accountability, dishonesty during mediation can significantly impact the parties involved and the overall efficacy of the dispute resolution process.

First, understanding some reasons as to why people resort to lying, regardless of the size of the lie, is important to understand. This can arise from the fear of vulnerability. The prospect of revealing sensitive or compromising details can evoke feelings of shame or embarrassment, prompting individuals to shield themselves from perceived judgment or criticism. Consequently, this fear impedes the establishment of a genuine, trusting rapport between the parties, hindering the potential for constructive dialogue and resolution.

It can arise from the desire to gain an upper hand or manipulate the negotiation process. Parties may strategically misrepresent facts or inflate their claims, aiming to tilt the balance of power in their favor. This calculated deception is often motivated by a competitive mindset, wherein individuals prioritize personal gain over collaborative problem-solving. Such adversarial tactics not only impede the spirit of mutual understanding but also erode the foundation of trust essential for fostering a mutually beneficial resolution.

Additionally, the lack of effective communication skills or emotional intelligence can lead individuals to resort to dishonesty in mediation. Inadequate articulation of thoughts, feelings, or needs may compel parties to resort to exaggeration, omission, or outright fabrication as a means of compensating for their perceived shortcomings. This deficiency in communication often stems from an inability to express oneself assertively or empathetically, inhibiting the cultivation of a collaborative and empathetic atmosphere conducive to constructive dialogue and mutual understanding.

Now, these are just a few reasons why people may lie during the mediation process. Whatever the reason, it is also important to understand some of the devastating consequences of such conduct.

One of the most immediate consequences of lying during a mediation is the erosion of trust between the parties. Trust serves as the cornerstone of any successful mediation, fostering an environment of open communication and mutual understanding. When one party is found to have lied or misrepresented crucial information, it can breed suspicion and skepticism, leading to a breakdown in communication and hindering the possibility of reaching a collaborative agreement. The breach of trust not only hampers the current mediation process but also can have lasting effects on future interactions between the parties, perpetuating a cycle of animosity and hostility.

The discovery of deceit during mediation can escalate the conflict, exacerbating tensions and entrenching parties in adversarial positions. When one party uncovers the other's dishonesty, it can trigger a sense of betrayal and resentment, amplifying existing grievances and making it increasingly challenging to foster an amicable resolution. This escalation can prolong the duration of the dispute, escalate legal costs, and intensify emotional distress, ultimately prolonging the distressing impact of the conflict on all parties involved.

Lying during mediation can jeopardize the credibility and reputation of the party responsible for the deceit. Once the truth is uncovered, it can tarnish the individual's integrity, leading to a loss of professional credibility and trustworthiness. This tarnished reputation can extend beyond the confines of the mediation process, impacting future business relationships and personal interactions. The long-term repercussions of a damaged reputation can impede opportunities for collaboration, negotiation, or future agreements, limiting the individual's ability to engage in effective dispute resolution or constructive dialogue in the future.

Additionally, although mediation confidentiality is strong, there can be legal consequences of lying during mediation. In some jurisdictions, intentionally misleading or concealing information during mediation can result in legal sanctions or penalties. Further, as I previously explained in my September 27, 2023 blog, “The State of Mediation Confidentiality”, dishonest conduct during the mediation process conduct that is intended to mislead or defraud another could result in severe consequences.

The consequences of lying during a mediation process are extensive and multifaceted, encompassing the erosion of trust, escalation of conflict, damage to reputation, legal implications, and the potential breakdown of the mediation process itself. By recognizing the gravity of these consequences, individuals engaging in mediation should prioritize honesty, transparency, and accountability, thereby fostering an environment conducive to constructive dialogue, mutual understanding, and ultimately, the resolution of conflicts in a fair and equitable manner.